Someday, Someday, Maybe

Chapter 1

Begin whenever you re ready, comes the voice from the back of the house.

Oh, I m ready.

After all, I ve prepared for this day for years: The Day of the Most Important Audition of a Lifetime Day. Now that it s finally here, I m going to make a good impression, I m sure of it. I might even book the job. The thought makes me smile, and I take a deep breath, head high, body alert, but relaxed. I m ready, alright. I m ready to speak my first line.

Eeessssaaheeehaaa. The sound that comes out of me is thin and high, a shrill wheezing whine, like a slowly draining balloon or a drowning cat with asthma.

Shake it off. Don t get rattled. Try again.

I clear my throat.

Haaaaaawwrrrblerp. Now my tone is low and gravelly, the coarse horn of a barge coming into shore, with a weird burping sound at the end. Hawrblerp? That can t be my line. I don t think it s even a word. Oh, God, I hope they don t think I actually burped. It was really more of a gargle, I tell myself although I don t know which is worse. I can just picture the scene, post-audition: That actress? We brought her in and she positively belched all over the dialogue. Is she any good? Well, I suppose you could use her, if the part calls for lots of gargling. Sounds of cruel laughter, phones slamming into receivers, 8 × 10 glossies being folded into paper airplanes and aimed into waste paper baskets. Career over, the end.

Franny? I can t see who s speaking because the spotlight is so bright, but they re getting impatient, I can tell. My heart is pounding and my palms are starting to sweat. I ve got to find my voice, or they ll ask me to leave. Or worse they ll drag me off stage with one of those giant hooks you see in old movies. In Elizabethan times the audience would throw rotten eggs at the actors if they didn t like a performance. They don t still do that, do they? This is Broadway, or at least, I think it is. They wouldn t just throw

The tomato bounces off my leg and onto

Lauren Graham

A winning, entertaining read . . . [Lauren Graham] has smartly mined just the right details from her own experience, infusing her work with crackling dialogue and observations about show business that ring funny and true. . . . Just like the screenwriters of the best romantic comedies, she has taken elements of the familiar and spun them into a novel that s heartfelt, hilarious and, hopefully, just the first example of what she can do with the written word. The Washington Post
 
A charmer of a first novel . . . [Graham] has an easy, unforced style and, when the situation calls for it, a keen sense of the ridiculous. The Wall Street Journal
 
With insight, care, and an abundance of humor . . . Graham demonstrates that her acting chops are not her only talent. Library Journal
 
Thoroughly charming. Entertainment Weekly
 
Sweet, funny, and full of heart . . . a dazzling debut. Emily Giffin, New York Times bestselling author of Something Borrowed and Where We Belong
 
Warm and funny, charming and smart. Diane Keaton, New York Times bestselling author of Then Again
 
Graham deftly captures what it s like to be young, ambitious, and hopeful in New York City. Candace Bushnell, New York Times bestselling author of Sex and the City and The Carrie Diaries
 
Fresh and funny and full of zingers, Lauren Graham s charming writing style instantly drew me in, but it was her relatable characters (complete with doodled date-book entries!), irresistible romantic twists, and delicious plot that kept me turning the pages until well past my bedtime. Meg Cabot, bestselling author of the Princess Diaries and Heather Wells Mystery series