We Are Okay

CHAPTER ONE

Before Hannah left, she asked if I was sure I d be okay. She had already waited an hour past when the doors were closed for winter break, until everyone but the custodians were gone. She had folded a load of laundry, written an email, searched her massive psychology textbook for an­swers to the final exam questions to see if she had gotten them right. She had run out of ways to fill time, so when I said, Yes, I ll be fine, she had nothing left to do except try to believe me.

I helped her carry a bag downstairs. She gave me a hug, tight and official, and said, We ll be back from my aunt s on the twenty-eighth. Take the train down and we ll go to shows.

I said yes, not knowing if I meant it. When I returned to our room, I found she d snuck a sealed envelope onto my pillow.

And now I m alone in the building, staring at my name written in Hannah s pretty cursive, trying to not let this tiny object undo me.

I have a thing about envelopes, I guess. I don t want to open it. I don t really even want to touch it, but I keep telling myself that it will only be something nice. A Christmas card. Maybe with a special message inside, maybe with nothing but a signature. Whatever it is, it will be harmless.

The dorms are closed for the monthlong semester break, but my adviser helped me arrange to stay here. The admin­istration wasn t happy about it. Don t you have any family? they kept asking. What about friends you can stay with? This is where I live now, I told them. Where I will live until I graduate. Eventually, they surrendered. A note from the Res­idential Services Manager appeared under my door a couple days ago, saying the groundskeeper would be here through­out the holiday, giving me his contact information. Anything at all, she wrote. Contact him if you need anything at all.

Things I need: The California sunshine. A more convinc­ing smile.

Without everyone s voices, the TVs in their rooms, the

Nina LaCour

Praise for We Are Okay
One of TIME MAGAZINE s 100 Best YA Books of All Time

"A brief but powerfully affecting meditation on loneliness and grief."  TIME

A meditation on surviving grief, We Are Okay is short, poetic and gorgeously written . The power in this little book is in seeing Marin come out on the other side of loss, able to appreciate a beautiful yellow-glazed pottery bowl and other people s kindnesses, and to understand that she might one day have a girlfriend and a future. The world LaCour creates is fragile but profoundly humane. The New York Times Book Review

A beautiful, devastating piece of art. . . .The title hints at a happy ending, but the journey toward it passes through some of the darkest corners of the heart. Be prepared to be gutted and grateful. We Are Okay is an extraordinary work by an author who keeps redefining and elevating her genre." Bookpage

Nina LaCour treats her emotions so beautifully and with such empathy. Of course, we'd expect nothing less from the stunning LaCour. Bustle

Exquisite. Kirkus, starred review

  LaCour paints a captivating depiction of loss, bewilderment, and emotional paralysis . . . raw and beautiful. Booklist, starred review

  Beautifully crafted . . . . A quietly moving, potent novel. School Library Journal, starred review

  A moving portrait of a girl struggling to rebound after everything she s known has been thrown into disarray. Publishers Weekly, starred review

"Bittersweet and hopeful . . . poetic and skillfully crafted."  Shelf Awareness, starred review

So lonely and beautiful that I could hardly breathe. This is a perfect book. Stephanie Perkins, bestselling author of Anna and the French Kiss

As beautiful as the best memories, as sad as the best songs, as hopeful as your best dreams.
Siobhan Vivian, bestselling author of